Losowe angielskie dowcipy

Now that I'm older... ->

Now that I'm older.....here's what I've discovered..... I started out with nothing..I still have most of it. When did my wild oats turn into prunes and All Bran? I finally got my head together, now my body is falling apart. Funny, I don't remem... [cały ->]

Constipation Remedy ->

A Bama Graduate was suffering from constipation, so his doctor prescribed suppositories. A week later the grad complained to the doctor that they didn't produce the desired results. "Have you been taking them regularly?" the doctor asked. "What... [cały ->]

Sex operation! ->

A man walks into a bar and sits next to a beautiful lady. "May I buy you a drink?" the man asks the lady. "Sure, but one thing I have to confess before you get intimate is that I was once a man," she responds. "Whoa! I would have never known... [cały ->]

14 Things to do While Taking a Driver's Test ->

1. Turn the radio on. When the tester goes to turn it off slap his/her hand. 2. Rev the car really high, turn to the tester, and say with an evil look, "buckle up!" 3. Come dressed in a suit. Before the examiner gets in the car, ask him/her to pu... [cały ->]

7Bin Laden's trip to the pearly gates! ->

After getting nailed by a Daisy Cutter, Osama made his way to the pearly gates. There, he is greeted by George Washington. "How dare you attack the nation I helped conceive!" Washington, slapping Osama in the face. Patrick Henry comes up from b... [cały ->]

A bunch of blonde jokes...woo-hoo! ->

What do you call an eternity? Four blondes in four cars at a four way stop. Why do blondes have TGIF written on their shoes? Toes Go In First Three blondes were driving to Disneyland. After being in the car for four hours, they saw a sign tha... [cały ->]

Golf Joke ->

Suggestions for Guys Golfing or Using A Public Bathroom: Back straight, knees bent, feet shoulder width apart. Form a loose grip. Keep your head down. Avoid a quick backswing. Stay out of the water. Try not to hit anyone. If you are taking t... [cały ->]

Depressed Over Mother In Law ->

Why Steve, you're so depressed today, what's the matter? Ah, well, I have had a quarrel with my mother-in-law. She swore to me she wouldn't talk to me for a month!! Then so bad about it? You should celebrate the event!! No, no, see...that wa... [cały ->]

Bad Breath ->

You're breath's so stinky I don't know whether I should give you a breath mint or toiletpaper!... [cały ->]

Blonde in Exam ->

The blonde reported for her University final examination which consists of "yes/no" type questions. She takes her seat in the examination hall, stares at the question paper for five minutes, and then in a fit of inspiration takes her purse out, re... [cały ->]

Touch-typists ->

Q: Why are only 2% of blondes touch-typists? A: The rest are hunt'n peckers.... [cały ->]

Gays in a bar ->

How do you get four gay guys to sit at one stool? Turn it upside down!... [cały ->]

The Hooker And The Dug Dealer ->

Q: What's the difference between a hooker and a drug dealer? A: A hooker can clean her crack and resell it the next day.... [cały ->]

What's In a Name? ->

An actor auditioned for a part in a musical comedy many years ago. The director was impressed with the young man's talent. He could dance, he could sing, he had perfect comic timing. The director asked the young man his name. "Penis van Lesbian,"... [cały ->]

Drunk ->

A guy is swerving down the road and gets pulled over. The cop says, "You have to take a Breathalyzer test." The guy says, "I can't. I have asthma, and it'll start me on a coughing fit." The cop says, "Then I have to give you a blood test." The gu... [cały ->]